LEAVE A MARK ON YOUR 21ST YEAR IN THIS LIFE

I  noticed that most of my gold-pals  are turning 21 this year  (2013) and I think this poem by Prof. Kivutha Kibwana  is going to be useful to them.

You are 21 child

a magic cross-roads age

yesterday's child

welcome to the world

there is no ceremony today

you are to give birth to yourself

you will mature yourself

you will adult yourself

mama and papa are far away

your other kin and kith too

21 means frontiers to explore

a world to conquer

an opportunity to make your mark

you are to determine who you will be

you will be the person you seek

you may forever be half child half adult

you may settle for a non person

someone who was just passing by

someone escorting others

someone just waiting

or a go-getter, a doer, a maker

the world is about choice

you may think before you act

you may act before you think

you may ignore to think and to act

you may have others think for you

you may have others act for you

choose...

men like bees will fly to your life's nector

they will hum love, affection, tenderness when their only desire is to sting

women will knock for companionship or for convinience

beware of womankind, beware of mankind

and yet you must love

Your body is yours, your shrine

your mind is yours, to be kept open, pure

your soul is yours, you motor

guard them with your life

build your character day by day

character is the window from which we glimpse the real person

discard the superficial vile

be a person people remember

a person others will follow

set goals for yourself

follow them as a train does its rails

always search for knowledge

the path that guides living

do your bit in life

small bits make the world

learn to reflect

to pause in motion

to dialogue with silence 

to be your best friend

to love yourself

remember

the worst lie is the lie told to oneself

because you know the truth

the lie will torture you

the truth will torment you

remember

nobody can silence a conscience

God is there for us every moment

He will always be there for you

even if you forget or deny Him

don't be afraid to look for Him

in good or bad times

He will mend your spirit

He will give you His peace

Life is suffering, you will suffer

life is joy, you will joy

life is about ups and downs, arise from the downs

life is about feeling you must give up, never give up

life is about being unsure of where you are, be sure

life is bitter, make it honey

life is tough, be tough

life is for living, not for quiting, hang on, live

You are 21

welcome to the world

mould your world

karibu

make the world

don't you ever look back.

Have a pleasant 21st year on the universe. Daisy loves you.

BEWARE, EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE IS PRICELESS.

There is a time I did not speak to my desk-mate for over a month when I was in form three. The reason was this, she had gone into my locker without my permission, taken my favorite novel and given it to someone who had misplaced it. The River and the Source by Margret Ogola is the last novel I will (even now) ever lend out. I am emotionally attached to that book; everything about it just feels important. What annoyed me even more was the fact that, my deskmate knew these.

 When it was clear that the book wasn't going to be found, I let go but I could not speak to my desk-mate for a while. But nature is nice because the healing eventually did come. I got another copy of the novel and luckily, my friendship with Sharon was restored. But I think the unintended consequence of that experience was that I learnt a lot of lessons: to always beware that emotional significance is priceless-- neither silver nor gold can replace it.

One of the main things I picked from that experience is that we look at things differently, just as we value different things. In your eyes, it could be a mere bangle but in someone else's eyes, it stands for everything there is to life. I have learnt to be particularly careful with other people's properties. In Sharon's eyes, the novel may just have been like any other book. I may have gone on and on telling her how much I loved that book but she couldn't figure out any particular special attribute that the book has. And perhaps that was why she did not need a lot of thinking time before giving out the book.

And when it comes to people who have walked into my life or our paths  have crossed I am even more careful. I don't lose a friend unless it is inevitable... I have learnt to look at life closely and in the course of 'my study' I have realized that nothing happens by accident. No meetings just happen... I mean there is never a coincidence. I am saying this with conviction because a lot of people got into my life 'accidentally', but right now I would be lost without them.

So, next time before you do ANYTHING, remember, THAT WHICH YOU WANT TO DO could be all that stands between real happiness and eternal nostalgia for someone else.

Let us be especially careful with people's emotions this year. They are priceless.

CHIMAMANDA TAKE ME AWAY!

I

I go crazy once in a while over Chimamanda... I love her more than what words can say...hahaha! But I know I am not the only one, a lot of people do.

I forgot to begin this way; HAPPY NEW YEAR SWEETHEARTS-- Forgive my delay.

This talk(SHARED ABOVE) made me laugh. Chimamanda felt so near, you know I always feel close to her whenever I am reading any of her stuff but I felt even closer this time.

I particularly like this statement;
"Not all women want to get married. And we should create room in our society for them."
Please Chimamanda, forget the 'pretenders' I am YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.

Let's talk later when I am a lot more organized.

WRITERS NEVER DIE

Anyone who read Aminata by Francis Imbuga and did not get charmed by the character of Aminata, a young and brilliant lawyer should re-read the book. It was my sister's setbook in high school and I can't remember how many times I told her that she should have scored a straight A in English because they had a wonderful setbook. Of course that was before I fell in love with my own setbooks and decided that there can never be better setbooks than what we had...

Aminata is set in a traditional Kenyan society. The society is heavily defined by customs and traditions and that is what in fact sets the major conflict in the book. Aminata, the lead character has been given a piece of soil as inheritance by her father and people of her village have a problem with this. Women should not be given land! Mmm... their argument is that, women get married and join their husbands and therefore being allocated land in their own parents inheritance meant double potion which was not fair.

Of course I totally disagree with this archaic way of looking at things. To begin with, there are women who don't exactly believe that marriage is their ultimate goal in life; so where do we leave them? Anyway, Aminata was a different kettle of fish. She was (well) married; she would have been content to abandon the fight for her father's land but the desire she had to honor her father's memory could not just allow her to do this and sleep comfortably. The book ends nostalgically... There are other sub-plots in the play which make it a more interesting read... grab a copy.

I have read other books by the same author(Francis Imbuga); Betrayal in the City, Man of Kafira and Miracle of Remera and I loved all of them.

Prof. Francis Imbuga is no more, sadly. But writers don't die... May the words you(Francis Imbuga) wrote continue being an inspiration to all who read them.

A LETTER TO NAWAL EL SAADAWI

Dear Nawal,

I hope this letter finds you hale and hearty. It is with utmost interest that I write it. I would have preferred 'an up-close and personal' interview but I realize that it will be tricky, almost impossible to reach you as soon as I would want to; our different circumstances notwithstanding.

Allow me to start by acknowledging that crown that sits on your head. You obviously wear a crown and this is regardless of whether people can see it or not. It is over eight decades since your fast contact with the world and simply put; you have left a mark in the sands of time and as you said in the interview with Homa Khaleeli in the Guardian of 15th April, 2010, you are becoming more radical with age. You laughed after that comment but I know that was not to make it less factual. In the interview, you went on to say that,

"I have noticed that writers, when they are old become milder. But for me, it is the opposite. Age makes me more angry"

That was a real fast. My contact with a good number of writers shows that a lot of them become less radical with age. What makes you 'more angry' with age and different from most of them for that matter? I know the fact that you are a rebel could be an explanation to that but what else? I am honestly interested in that angle. My friend, an ardent critique of yours(not published yet) who also intends to do her thesis on your work, argues that you are a victim of circumstances rather than a fighter for women's rights. She compares your approach to that in Fatmata Conteth's A LETTER TO MY SISTERS and she draws the conclusion that, in both these two circumstances, the simple idea that there was initial breach from the norm is what makes you view the world from what she calls 'a stressed up point of view'. Another argument she puts across is that, there are other Islamic and (women in general) who achieve everything they want without necessarily going against the norms.

I don't know what your response to such understanding of your work would be. I would like to know.

Dr. El Saadawi, you have been in and out of prison severally because of your stands which in most cases were against the government. You even had to fly out of your native Egypt when you received death threats. In short, you joined the long list of African writers who are forced into exile because of their work. In your opinion, is fleeing one's country by its very nature a mark of heroism? Do you think going into exile helps deliver the message one is passing over to the masses?

You have been swimming against the tide all your life. Those are your words. I admire them because there is something comforting about avoiding the bitten path. Truth is that you gave all your life for the struggle against women oppression and you are not resting until this is done.  But there is a slight problem. Not a lot of people know you or are aware of what you do. You even said in one of your interviews that it is much easier for you to be listened to in other countries; you are more recognised in other countries that your own. Does that state of affairs make your quest unachievable especially in Egypt or is it a classic case of' a prophet is never welcomed in her own country'?

One of your plays; GOD RESIGNS IN THE SUMMIT MEETING was so explosive and you said that your Arabic publisher destroyed it under police duress. This was followed by several court cases because the criticism on religion proved so controversial. An obvious explanation of this would be your daring nature but I still have to ask. What is your source of inspiration? What runs through your mind when 'everyone' seems to think you are wrong and should stop what you are doing?

Finally, are there any regrets in your life? Is there anything you wish you did differently when you were younger?

Pass my regards to your daughter, Mona Nawal. She followed after you in both character and interests and no doubt she is a woman of steel too. I hope to hear more from her.

Very enthusiastically,

Daisy Nandeche Okoti.