Sometime towards the end of last year, a friend from high school called me very early in the morning to inform me that, she had procured an abortion but the bleeding was not stopping even after correctly taking medication. I think I was insensitive because my first reaction was anger, I mean, why would anyone disrupt my beauty sleep to tell me boring stories about abortion? What fueled my anger was the fact that this girl never told me that she was pregnant and neither did she inform me that she intended to carry out an abortion; she did not want me to be part of her plans in the first place, so why involve me towards the end?
After I got my stability back and the sleep had reduced in my eyes a bit, I told her that the best person she could speak to was her mother. I even offered to make the phone call, but babez, she refused.I was left with no choice except to hang up and hope that everything turns out right for her.
That phone call like many others I make left me somewhere between being surprised and being aware. I am not saying it is impossible to become pregnant and then abort, but aren't we becoming too daring? How do you procure a backstreet and an unnecessary abortion with the knowledge of all the consequences full in your head?
My cousin told me a story about their school yesterday and this left me with no comment until now. A form two girl was found lying in a pool of blood almost dead after swallowing an abortion inducing drug. The girl was rushed to hospital and all they could do was pray for her.
I tried to imagine the site of a 14 year old lying half dead in a pool of blood but the shock in me could not allow me to.Maybe this is a naive question but really, how does a 14 year old get pregnant in the first place? Why would anyone want to sabotage the joys of childhood by playing adult games they are not prepared for; perhaps they even know nothing about? Is it that there are no longer games in this world for children to play or what really went wrong?
Don't give me an answer such as the media or technology because I am a testimony that the two can be controlled. I think to save time, and this is assuming that the media and technology are the culprits, parents should simply be in control and let the children know what they can watch and what they cannot; what they can do on the net and what they cannot. I don't know how my parents succeeded but I am so grateful I never watched some programs or even listened to some radio stations when I was young (Read under 18). I think every parent should find what works for them early enough.
All said and put aside, we have an issue at hand, a good percent of young girls are involved in sexual relations. Why should they? I don't know but I think I should get five culprits to sit down and tell me why and who knows, that might just be the beginning of our solution. Some time back, there was a feature on Kenyan teenagers and birth control pills on citizen TV. The revelation was shocking; girls as young as 15 were suffering due to the use of hormonal contraceptives. I remember one saying "unaamka ka umechoka na kila saa uko na monthy..." She wakes up tired, and then she has random menses... And she is still taking the pills??!! Those effects would scare anyone after the fast attempt at the most. How do you wake up tired and you have work to do? And for a fifteen year old, she is likely in high school. That is why some people end up fantasizing in a double- maths lesson, get 12% and then tell a story about how impregnable maths is. As for random menses, that's beyond any normal girl's imagination. Once in 24 days is already disrupting enough. I am even sure that if it was possible to bribe someone to have the menses for us, so many women would have ended in hell for bribery.
But seriously, what is wrong with these young girls? What annoys me is the fact that they know what they are doing will harm them eventually. One of the reasons why I rarely write about the wayward teenager is because I know that they know what they are doing very well and you cannot challenge me on that one because I was a teenager once upon a time. Sometimes I am tempted to think that, we should just ignore them, I mean stop featuring ads that show 'spoilt' teens and replace all of them with disciplined teens so that they know they don't really matter if they don't want or rather, cannot listen to the wise counsel.
I want to end with a disclaimer, I am not writing these because I am a better person (which is a very unlikely prospect) but because I want us to get other ideas, listen to other stories about teens. We have other stories that are not being told as often as they should. I think we should find them and spend time learning from them and perhaps that way, those who stick to the wrong ways (knowingly) will understand that, they can drawn in vices and we don't really mind because we have other people to steer this nation.
Maybe since all the messages sent to them have not worked, what they should hear now is "WE DON'T CARE".
I hope April brings you loads of fulfillment.